15 Jun 2009

How to be a 100% Dilliwalah (Suggestion No.10)

Pick a god. An obscure deity. A female one.

Then keep repeating Her name every time you finish a sentence. For example - Sab Mata Rani ki kripa hai...

Even if there is no connection with the conversation at hand it will help. Sometimes to distract if the conversation is not going the way you planned. And sometimes to conclude a discussion. Actually this is the only thing you can say completely out of the blue and you will sail through. Except when faced with a Jat policeman. He will have his bribe whatever you say.

Goddesses come in all shapes and sizes. The obvious one is Vaishno Devi (when it is the season). She can also be an obscure one. A new addition. What is important is that when you repeat Her name many times the listener is curious and asks you which goddess, which Mata ?

At this point you could brandish a ring, a necklace or a coloured thread and with a serious expression look deeply into the listener's eyes.

Next you describe how you had a vision and decided to go on a pilgrimage and ever since your life has changed. Your business is looking up, your children are doing well and now you do not look at under age girls with lust anymore. This last bit would make the listener squirm.

Then watch him nod, smile and say - Sab Mata Rani ki kripa hai...

ps thanks to G for bringing this up


S said...

I could practically hear your voice in my head as I read this. OTOH, when I read this to A, she was convinced this actually happened to you in real life.

Life@60 said...

You will forever be your sarcastic self!!