Why I am not there

i am
as a rule
skeptical of crowds

each time they gathered
i was found wanting

1984
i did not love Indira enough

1990
i did not love my caste enough

1992
i did not love the temple enough

i cannot be like Anna and his company
because like all crowds
they want you to be on their side
else
you are the other

i cannot be like those in power
who say – come lets talk again
they have been leading us through
a circus
for six decades

i cannot be like the skeptical journos
whose current fashion is to attack
the middle class
tomorrow it will be
someone else

and i cannot be like those
who say
this bill will not solve all problems
so will not
the UID
it will just make us into a number

but then
as a rule
am skeptical of crowds
who ask you to be on their side
else
you are the other

each time
a crowd gathers
they seem to remind me
that
i am the other