The Ishtyle and the Stupidity

What can one say about something that knocks you out and when you wake up, you are still laughing but do not remember the joke?

Tashan is all that and more.

With Anil Kapoor doing a tapori for the umpteenth time. Akshay Kumar as the bumbling idiot who can fight a hundred men. Saif the stylish guy. And Kareena doing her silly laughter that she calls acting. I mean Jab We Met seems like millions of years away.

Actually the Tashan is a landmark film for Yash Raj. First the subject is so regressive and 80's, it seems like we are going back to Jumping Jack Jeetu and Mithun da era. Whoever said that small town stories have to be loud and regressive? It seems like Haasil and Omkara have been forgotten. We are back to silly men fighting over money and women.

Just before the release of the film, Yash Raj got into a fight with multiplex theater owners and therefore the film was only shown in single screen halls which are very rare in Delhi. This also meant that a lot of the rich and nouveau rich (call centre types) did not even know that the film had been released. This is not the first time that such a fight has happened between YR and the theatre owners, but Tashan was the ideal film for this crisis. The front benchers would lap it up.

Imagine Anil Kapoor playing the same role he played twenty years earlier. I mean a fatter Anil Kapoor, with body wax and the same three-day beard. Apparently since he had to do a body wax for five days, the city of Bombay ran out of body wax and it had to be imported from Dubai. Akshay Kumar doing his version of Amitabh of the 80's. Saif the bumbling Shashi Kapoor updated to 2007. Kareena replacing Parveen Babi. The audience might have thought that they had been transported back in time. There is even a dialogue from Deewar (English version for the new age call centre audience) thrown in to confuse you further.

That dialogue must have warmed up Yash Chopra too when he saw the film and he must have cried. Out of nostalgia or pain am not sure.

PS Am glad that I had to go to Sangam to watch the Ishtyle of Yash Raj. I only ended up blowing up a hundred bucks on a ticket, popcorn and Coke. Bring back those time again !

For a comprehensive review about what went wrong with the Tashan go here !

Breaking through a cinema near you

New York Times has this article on breakthrough performances in Hollywood - roles in films that made you sit up and notice the actor and his or her career took a different trajectory after that. The most common case is of Amitabh in Zanzeer. After that film there was sea change in how the film makers and the audience saw him.

What are the breakthrough performances with our present stars? For Shah Rukh it would have to be DDLJ after which he became the lover boy of the 90's. Before that he had done interesting roles like in Baazigar but DDLJ endeared him to a larger audience. For Aamir maybe it was Sarfarosh from where he started experimenting with new ideas and directors.

Tabu had been successful commercially, but it was Maachis that made people notice her. The films she did after - Chandni Bar, Maqbool, Namesake, and Cheeni Kum put her leagues ahead of her contemporaries.

Both Abhishek and Saif Ali Khan had been around for some time till they got the role that turned the tide. For Saif it was Ek Hasina Thi - that little known film where he blew away the audience as the scheming but charming lover who has no guilt in putting his girlfriend behind bars just to save his neck. Try and catch this film if you haven't seen it yet. For Abhishek it was the con man in Bluffmaster. While both films did not do well at the box office, the performances set the pace for the coming years.

With Aishwarya it has to be Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. Earlier she normally had "dumb blonde" roles in films like Jeans. But Sanjay Leela Bansali proved to us that she could act. Omkara did the same for Kareena. She was already commanding a huge price as a star, but no one thought she could do meaty roles. One look at the films she is doing post Omkara shows that she has catapulted into the A list.

Do you agree? What are the other breakthrough performances that you can think of?

Winter is early so this film must be good...

i saw Manorama Six Feet Under
a month ago
so why am i writing about it now?

this time when i returned
to delhi
winter had set in
and the film captured
that part of the year
which is so familiar
to me

the characters wearing
fake leather jackets
and thin sweaters (bought from Sarojni Nagar or Karol Bagh)
that come out during this time of the year

Gul Panag (playing Abhay Deol's wife)
actually wears a large gown
(that aunties in my colony wear in winter)
while cutting veggies
sitting outside and soaking in the morning sun

most depictions of winters
in bollywood are restricted
to characters going abroad
wearing long coats or thick sweaters
or cavorting in the snow at some hill station

but in Manorama
the characters wore
everyday stuff
made in Ludhiana
ate jalebis
and rode bikes that
respectfully ran at 50 km per hour

films have such an impact
creating images
that people who live elsewhere
tend to believe in them completely

a friend of mine
who grew up in Tehran
was asked when she returned for holidays from India
whether young people break into a song
buses and on the streets in India !!!!!
that is the impression
bollywood has ended up creating
in many parts of the world
who knows in some years
city bred kids might have
the same imptession
of villages in India
if they see the world through the eyes of bollywood

in that sense manorama
is a refreshing change

where winters look like winters
the colours on the sweaters remind you of the aunt
who used to collar you at the Diwali Mela
neighbours are suspicious
and wives have expectations from their marriages
children are demanding
politicians still use the Ambassador
and while corruption is everywhere
it is elusive when you begin to hunt it down

in the end you do not change the world
it ends up changing you

go watch this film if you can

the choice for the oscars

so Eklavya it is

each year there is so much fanfare about
which film is nominated from India
and every year there is a controversy about the choice

this year Vidhu Vinod Chopra has strongly defended the choice of his film
and launched an attack on detractors who have claimed
that Chak De India or Dharm should have been the right choice

i think each year
we have the same questions
should we send the film that is most likely to win
or should we send the film that best represents India
in this case Dharm would fall into the first category
Chak De would be the ideal India film

but we also need to look at other films
in regional cinema like Dombivli Fast
which I thought was good for nomination
a year ago
but was ignored

Meanwhile
this suspicious blog
says that the L A Times thought that
Eklavya looks like a "lost David Lean film"

Well I am not sure about that compliment
Eklavya actually looked like an exotic Hollywood movie made in the 50's

Maybe that might make it the right choice for pleasing the goras
but not for India

another reason to hate the 80's (Hindi film music)

i had earlier written why i hated the eighties
today just randomly i came across some data
where i realized this hatred was really something deep down
it was not just because of Jumping Jack or Bappi da
it was the all kinds of music coming out of Hindi films at that time
forced me to retreat to AIR golden oldies (songs from the 60's)
when i used to listen to radio late into the night

so i present my exhibits
the filmfare award winners
of the 80's
songs that really massacred melody and made you shut your ears to the lyrics...
and laugh into your pillow

1981 starts the trend ...

Best Lyrics
Anand Bakshi - Tere Mere Beech Mein (Ek Duje Ke Liye)

Best Male Playback
Amit Kumar - Yaad Aa Rahi Hai (Love Story)

Best Female Playback
Parveen Sultana - Hame Tumse Pyar (Kudrat)

1982 is the best sample !!!

Best Music
R. D. Burman (Sanam Teri Kasam)

Best Lyrics
Santosh Anand - Mohabbat Hai Kya Cheez (Prem Rog)

Best Male Playback
Kishore Kishore - Pag Ghungroo Baje (Namak Halal)

Best Female Playback
Salma Agha - Dil Ke Armaan (Nikaah)

1984 reaches lowdown ...

Best Music
Bappi Lahiri (Sharabi)

Best Lyrics
Hasan Kamal - Aaj Ki Awaz (Aaj Ki Awaz)

Best Male Playback
Kishore Kumar - Manzilein Apni Jaga (Sharabi)

Best Female Playback
Anupama Deshpande - Sohni Chinab Di (Sohni Mahiwal)

and of course there are other masterpieces over the years...

1986
Best Music
Ravindra Jain (Ram Teri Ganga Maili)

1988
Best Male Playback
Mohammed Aziz - Dil Tera Kisne Toda (Dayavaan)

Best Female Playback
Alka Yagnik - Ek Do Teen (Tezaab)

1989 (celebrating the year of the copycat and synthesizer music)
Best Music
Raam Laxman (Maine Pyar Kiya)

Best Lyrics
Asad Bhopali - Dil Deewana (Maine Pyar Kiya)

Best Male Playback
S. P. Balasubramaniam - Dil Deewana (Maine Pyar Kiya)

Best Female Playback
Sapna Mukherjee - Tirchi Topiwale (Tridev)

why did this happen after 1980 which gave us Karz?

one of the reasons is the rise of Amitabh as the superstar
where he starts doing action, comedy and romance in his films
one day somebody tells him that why don't you try your hand at singing????
then you have songs like "Mere Angane Mein"

the other is when film directors like Prakash Mehra and Sawan Kumar Tak start writing lyrics
you have songs like "Janoo Meri Jaan" and "Shaayad Meri Shaadi"

another reason probably was that the Salim Jaaved team split up and Jaaved Saab started writing lyrics like this out of depression i guess

or maybe it was just the use of synthesizers by almost every musician (that was the trend the world over (remember Europe & a-ha ?)

thank god for QSQT that music made a comeback into Hindi cinema and the 90's were bearable (more on that in another blog)

ps thanks to G who started me thinking on this

Advantages of being a FILM STAR

Lessons from Slam Man Khan and Ganjoo Dutt

1. You can kill as many animals as you like. And people...
2. You can acquire an AK 56 for self defense. Never mind the only people after you are the producers who lost money in your films...
3.If the jail is too dirty, you can get a transfer, preferably to a jail where Mahatma Gandhi spent time during the freedom movement...
4. You family comes to meet you so many times it seems like home
5. The news people hang around 24/7 like it was the IIFA awards
6. You can periodically discover your faith when you are sent to jail
7. They can discover a new profession
8. When released on a technicality you can emerge out of the jail in ganji this setting a new fashion trend

Shah Rukh vs Aamir Khan

going back home after a screening of Chak De
i got into a discussion with Aditi
about who is better – Shah Rukh or Aamir?

Shah Rukh the more popular one
but who looks the same in all his films
with the exception of Swades and Chak De
(remember the time when he refused to cut his hair for the role of a soldier arguing that people would not notice this detail)

Aamir who takes more risks
sets fashion trends (Dil Hai Ke Maanta Nahi, Raja Hindiustani, Dil Chahta Hai)
but comes up with the inexplicable (the mooch in Mangal Pandey)

Shah Rukh who appears
once a year with a staple film
Aamir who retires to his hill
for two-three years
before appearing with a masterpiece
(OK forget Mangal Pandey)

Aamir whom you could call on
to act if you life depended on it
but by the time he is ready for his performance
Shah Rukh would have already charmed
your tormentors
and helped you escape

Shah Rukh whose each film
brings smiles to the producers (and tears for NRIs)
Aamir who took us to the Oscars

Shah Rukh who gives quotes
dime a dozen
Aamir who thinks long before answering
and then refuses to elaborate

once when we had to interview Aamir
for a BBC show
he insisted on a typed questionnaire
and then proceeded to answer sincerely
each question like it was a school exam

Shah Rukh with his off the cuff answers
that disarm the interviewer and the audience
(Are you Bi Sexual? No I am Tri sexual - I Try anything!!!)
Aamir who is always at war with the media

Shah Rukh seems to do
everything with ease
not at all awkward or conscious
Aamir it seems
is always scared how he is coming across

like the Muhammad Ali and George Foreman bout
or Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassy match
it has been a fascinating battle
in the last decade
each one out doing the other....

wonder who will come on top?

my bet is on Shah Rukh
what about you?

what the other half sees

in the discussion about the other India
we are always told about the economic and social divide
what about cultural?

A few days ago i was returning from lansdowne
and i passed a cinema in najibabad
there was a hoarding of neha dhupia
staring at me with the words "Sheesha"
alongside
this was one of the forgettable films she had done
but curiously on the same hoarding there was another
woman in a bikini sitting at what looked like a beach
with the words "Yaara da Tashan" alongside
For a passer by it looked liked one film

Cinemas in towns all over North and Central India
have these strange combo films where they insert
reels of a English flick in between a C grade hindi film
(in the south they always have have mallu films soft porn)

What is interesting is that the two films
have no connection and the reels alternate
while the audience does not bother with a story

The other posters on the walls were
Qayamat (yes they are running a morning show)
Awarapan
and
Himesh the Resham the movie

How in the hell are we going to get these two worlds to sit down and talk?

The REAL review of the Guy with the Topi

Yet another review without going to the film.

This is a trend I started here, what with so many promos of films nowadays I’ve decided to review films without watching them.

Aap Kaa Surroor: The Moviee - The Real Luv Story (I’m sorry they wanted a longer title but just did not know any more English) is the Himesh the Resham (no relation to Reshmaa, the famous singer from Pakistan) the launchpad. Actually it is tribute to all the Elvis movies except that in those movies Elvis is wearing tights. Resham has his Cap.

The Cap. What can I say about. I think it is the eighth wonder of the world. (No need to vote for this one) It protects the rest of the world from so much shit. If the cap was not there imagine there would be more songs, more nasal twang floating around. Right now it keeps things in control.

Then there is Mallika Sherawat. She was paid 1.5 crores for a 30 minute appearance????? The last time i checked that kind of stuff was paid for Brando in Superman. I know I should have volunteered. With that kind of money i could have gotten a boob job, gone back to my unemployed male status and yet made a small budget film with the rest.

Then of course there is the virginal heroine wearing Pink all over (lipstick included), I think she is going to take all the Pink away from Amisha Patel’s wardrobe. She is helpless and Himesh is the strong Nasal Type. They fall in love but there are many challenges and silly dialogues before they can consumate (with the Cap on of course).

But first some basic questions. When I know that even Shah Rukh will not get play time in Germany why the hell set the film there? What’s wrong with good old US of A? Then of course, what’s with the caps that change colour. Is it like a sublime messaging for safe sex (there are two other women in his life) since the street slang for condoms is topi (cap)? And don’t even get me started on his tribute on autowalahs.

Enough said. My friend who I do not envy anymore since he had to review the film, recalled that the story for Mere Mehboob was written keeping in mind a set of songs that the producer had in his bank. He had recorded them for another film that did not materialise. What a hit the film became. (Although I have several problems with “Silver Jubilee” Rajendra Kumar but that’s another blog). AKS seems to have been done with the same idea.

Sadly AKS is not Mere Mehboob. Nor is the Himesh the Resham, Elvis. With or without the topi.

Delhi in Bollywood

In Hindi cinema Delhi is the most under represented city. Bombay has this song and most films are based there with names like this. Calcutta too has had its share with Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi and Do Bigha Zameen to Parineeta and Yuva.

But Delhi. Seems like this is city is lost in a black hole between between Mumbai and Simla. When Metro came out I thought it was about the Metro but I was in for a disappointment.

When Delhii Heights(with two i s) came out (although it showed an apartment complex that could only have been in Gurgaon), I though let me make my list of Delhi films and I’m not talking about Sarfarosh, or Chandni. The city does not show up in them. Please do not even start me on 1947 Earth to Lakshya because many of the locations were old monuments which we never go to.

Rang De Basanti and Cheeni Kum were shot in the city but both got a lot of elements wrong. Remember the room that the gori chick stays in and the empty courtyard of Qutub Minar in the climax of Cheeni Kum. Get real guys.

Ek Hasina Thi and Monsoon Wedding captured the city and its landscape very well blending it into the story. Hazaron Khwahishen Aisi used the older parts of the city (CP and North Delhi) to good effect. Chashme Baddoor captured life in South Delhi before south Delhi became popular.

But the best for me has been Khosla Ka Ghosla. This film told the story of a family looking for a plot to build a house and the ups and downs they go through. The film is very dilli like. The characters are what you will meet here everyday. Watch this flick for the all the things you find funny and exasperating about Delhi.

Any favourite city flicks that you have?

Best Star Son and other such awards

Star TV has its own awards for Indian Television called the Star Parivaar Awards

It has categories like Saas , Bahu ,Sautan , Beta , Sasur , Beti , Patni , Pati , Jodi , Khalnayak

I would recommend some for the next year's numerous film awards:

1. Best Star Son (rolling trophy for AB Jr.)

2. Best Star Daughter (Kareena vs Esha)

3. Best Bahu (Aishwarya)

4. Best Saas (Jaya Bachchan)

5. Best Upbeat ex lover (toss up between Salman and Viviek Oberoi)

6. Best Wedding( Ash -Abhishek for the next five years)

7. Most Brands endorsed (Amitabh Vs Shah Rukh)

8. Best divorced star rediscovering his kids (Aamir or Saif)

9. Best foot in the mouth ( Life time achievement for Amar Singh)

Any more categories you can think of?

daag the fire OR red the dark side

a surfeit of film titles coming with a line or a description attached to them

here is a good write up dissecting the same.

very soon you might see titles with lines like :

Das Chalis Ki Local- very crowded and dirty

Sarkar 2 - more of the same with Bachchan jr.

Ram Gopal Varma Ke Sholay - since you liked the first one so much

Metro II - three more love stories we left out in the first one

Ash Abhishek and the unbearable set of expectations from Amitabh Bachchan

In a well-argued column Mrinal Pande has presented a case that the way the marriage of the decade has been conducted sets a wrong example for our country.

This argument now being articulated many magazines, newspapers and sites goes as follows: That Amitabh being a national icon, son of famed poet etc. should not be doing such things. People look up to him and therefore if he were to encourage behaviour like getting Ash married to a tree this will only reinforce retrograde rituals within society.

I have had my fun during the whole time. A couple of times I howled with laughter too. However two points need to be made to all the media commentators and intellectuals etc.

One is that Amitabh never claimed that he was a progressive person. All his actions have pointed to him being a conservative patriarch living in the 19th century. Including naming his grand daughter Navya Naveli (Please!!!!) .

His daughter had an arranged love marriage (depends on which version you believe) and his wife stopped working when she married. (You could argue it was her decision but if every act can be argued out then we could also defend slavery). And the countless trips to temples donating money & other things to please gods (127 and counting till 2006). Why are the critics surprised now?

The other point is that what Amitabh is doing is not new. People have been doing this for centuries and he is not setting a new trend. We all know of an aunt or a cousin who had to marry a tree or visit 51,000 temples to overcome some dosha.

What the media should have done is criticized all their activities staring from the first temple they visited in November 2006. They should taken a stand then.

What I’m worried is how come no one is criticizing the wedding outfits that the family was wearing. Who in his right mind would wear that? Is that a curtain cloth or did his table cover get mixed up with his suits ? Of course come wedding season in November a lot of aunties and uncles will order them for their families. I guess that’s one thing I would like to haul Mr. Bachchan to the Court of God for. That is, if He exists. (God not Mr. Bachchan)

Thoda Thoda Kum Kum

So onto the movie of the decade… er…year…no summer…well actually April. April 28th to be precise. And I’m am not talking about Pathfinder.

The good thing about Yash Raj movies (apart from the fact that with each movie you keep thinking DDLJ was their best shot) is that if you watch enough promos you should be able to guess the entire story. The initial promos are normal Yash raj stuff - cars whizzing around. Saif walking out to NASCAR(NASCAR???????) with his trademark - one shoulder lower than the other - walk. Rani and the kids cheering. Rani and Saif dancing alone in New York. Accident. of course Saif knows all about them. The car spinning in slow mo. And then crashing to the ground. Of course throughout this an irritating kid's voice talking about how her parents are the best in the world . ( Yeah right. We'll talk to her when she is an adolescent)

Over the weeks as the film does not recover its money one will see more – heart wrenching scenes, kids crying, Rani crying, Saif sadly strumming the guitar. Till you’ve seen the entire film. And you never have to go to the hall to see the movie. Come to think of it even if the film is hit the same strategy will be used.

So why am I writing about Thoda Thoda Kum Kum ?

Actually what got me this time was the campaign . It was an hour long thing which came on NDTV and then MTV. We got to know how the crew shot in hostile conditions ( New York City no less), also intimate details like the year the director was born the cameraman on the film started shooting his first film (how does that help me???) and how the kid who were acting were fantastic etc.

Towards the end we had Saif saying that he is tired and wants to go home. He interrupts the director and Rani who are sitting with him and turns to the camera and asks them to stop. He then proceeded to wind up the session by saying that this film from the premier studios in India, with a talented director and fantastic star cast. By this time the other two are embarrassed shit.

But he continues. He says that the audience has no other choice. This will be the hit film in April. Either you can watch this or some Hollywood flick because there are no other films worth watching.

By this Rani and the director had their mouths open. I almost choked on my tea.

So I thought maybe Saif lives in a different world where you had very few choices when you had to spend time with friends and family. I decided to take my partner for dinner on Sunday. That’s 200 rupees less that Yash Raj would earn this summer.

PS A special programme on NDTV with Rani and Saif even had a woman asking Saif for advice about how to bring up children as a single parent. When Saif started talking seriously about stuff like spending time your kids, I had to switch to another channel since I did not want my dinner on the floor.

kabul express

saw kabul express yesterday
to all you south dilli walahs
who are not able to catch it because some PVR Yashraj spat
try and see it
on the big screen
its worth it

these are the film that big production houses
should make once in a while in between
their weepy flicks

i cannot for the life of me understand all the bad reviews
Kabul Ex got
the film has faults but then
this is the first film that has placed indian characters
in a foreign country
dealing with contemporary issues
issues important to people in the subcontinent
none of the old fogies (or young ones for that matter)
have been able to move beyond essays they call films
the only exceptions have been Hazaaron Kwahishein (saw limited release in Delhi)and Paanch (which did not get a release)

Kabul Ex is short
all of 120 mins
maybe the director had a lot of time before the release to go over his cut
(the film had been completed many months ago)
the visuals are stunning
(although i felt that some locations were repeated in other sequences)
the story is crisp and the characters believable
the background score is minimal and powerful

arshad warsi is good but he is getting into the habit
of playing the funny guy
the shashi kapoor of contemporary films
john abraham is cast well
but he does not get much to do

what was interesting was how the five characters are thrown in together
and the conversations they have
(who is responsible for aghanistan's fucked up state, the best all rounder in cricket kapil or imran, hindi film songs)

the best scenes i liked was when cans of pepsi fall on the pakistani
while arshad and john are arguing what drink it is
another one was the tribute to the Dev Anand song
and the donkey on the road

however some of the lines were too predictable
and stilted
(conversations between the american and john, john's comment on cricket)
i think the director should have gone over them with a finer comb


the only real failing if i call that is that
in the end the characters get off too easily

the indians - they are not responsible for this situation buy they empathise since they belong to as third world country

the pakistani - because he was doing his duty and does not belive in most things the Taliban does

the aghanistan - because his country has been ravaged by outsiders (how green was my valley etc.)

the american - because she has a concience and she knows that as a journalist she knows how much ever we do it will never be enough

also the film being short is not able to deal with the complexities of the problem
but the film does leave you with many questions
important questions, searching questions that don't leave you

not silly stuff which you think when you leave a bollywood flick

just for that Kabul Ex is worth a watch