how to fall in love (again and again)

you watch her 
she walks past you
brushing gently
you are 13
you lie to yourself
i love her
she loves me
but she does not join you
in the game

now you are 20
on the stage 
during a rehearsal
she bumps into you
looks up apologetically
you lie to yourself
she loves me
and she
joins the game
later when she leaves
you are happy 
in each other's lies

next time
you play 
with empty water bottles
that separate
you and her
on a journey
in a train
your voices drowned 
makes it easier to lie
i love her
i love you
she answers
when you part
both expert liars
hardened by stories 
we told each other 

love 3.5
at a restaurant you meet 
with no past
forced to share a table
she invites you to her room 
you arrive armed 
with a bottle of wine
and a condom

both lie 
seasoned 
and when you leave 
rudely in the morning
both realise
that
that was the only way 
to keep our memories

girl 4
sends you a card
on your birthday
unexpected
you keep keep on your bookshelf 
till one day
it disappears in a mad
cleaning session

she lies 
you lie 
to yourself
when she leaves the city
you meet
in a friend's bedroom
lying there
bodies touching
you lie to each other
for several days
when you return
you carry 
memories of those lies
till the memories
are no longer lies 

when she leaves 
you tell yourself
next time you will be better 
at the lie